Thursday, April 08, 2004

Last week, after spending three days in complete isolation, ie my room with only my PS2 to talk to and that involves, screaming you fucking bastard cheebye at creatures that pose a threat to my virtual existence, (that can prove to be a bore after a while when I realise that my range of profanities was limited), I was on the verge of going mad. I was lying on the bed, banging on the mattress and contorting my body in the hope that I can actually break out of my body. I am not too sure why I was doing that and what the result would be if I actually succeeded, astral projection or just death. Reminds me of clerks, when the guys went for the funeral of a guy who broke his neck trying to give himself a blowjob, but once again, I digress. Anyway, I realise that the answer is simple. Work more. Somehow, my mind has separated my life into two distinct locations, the office, where i work, write, read and my room where i played. I realised that although play is good, I can't handle more than two days of it. Come to think of it, when I was thinking of going on a holiday for Easter, one of the considerations were, it cannot be more than 2 nights, i will go mad. I wonder when did i develop such an aversion for play? Probably the time, when I spent one whole entire week in my room alone, and playing on the PS 2 and of course the lack of a good game to play probably contributed to that revulsion as well. So I have decided. Stay in the office more, write, read about things that are remotely related to my research. I can't seem to read things unless they are useful to me. This means I can't read novels, I tried the Forsyth saga, got bored after a page. I can't seem to appreciate styles of writing anymore. I am always looking for the message, the contents, the substance. Sadly, i think its the result of my legal education. After five years of reading cases to spot the ratio of the case and the obiter dicta, I have lost the abilitiy to just read. No wonder, I prefer graphic novels now which reminds me Lucifer vol 5 is out! FUCK, i hope N gets it for me if its cheaper to get it in singapore, or else I have to get it from Writing about fantasy worlds is fun too. Yesterday, I finally started on the writing of my dungeons and dragons campaign two years ago. Well, its not exactly an epic story and I refuse to write it as such. Of course, my style is more influenced by the absurd after reading Catch 22, so its just weird. For people interested in such stuff, check it out, its at and I should warn you that the characters in the campaign are very similar to their alter egos in real life. Yes even Porkfloss.


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