Friday, April 23, 2004

Went to see pseudo director of postgrad research. Its the bi-annual meeting implemented by the school to indicate that they are taking an active participation in your academic as well as your emotional development. Of course, as it was in undergrad, as it was in the army, everyone knows its just a farce. You go in, she asks you how you are, how is your work, any problems with the school, its as if she's reading from a questionare which of course leads to the question of why can't they just do an online survey. But of course, we need to have a human face on this whole process and so we do it. It was a happy session, for her at least. My work is fine, its progressing smoothly, I have completed a chapter although I made a boo boo by saying that I want to get a tutorship with a hall of residence to maximise my earning capacity. I hope this doesn't give her the impetus to reduce the scholarship monies. Its all a nice happy show, I mean I have never had problems academically or at least not within my control, the only time i messed up was A levels but then again, it was from an extreme lack of interest in what I was doing then. I guess thats why people never know when a person will just kill himself/herself just like that, they are only concerned with what they see on the outside, and of course, they seldom want to delve into the inner sanctum of the person's mind. Even if they know something, they will just push it to the back of their heads. "Hello, I am suicidal." "wow, thats interesting, what are you working as?" And so we have people saying, he was such a nice guy, quiet polite, no way of knowing that he was depressed or even suicidal. Thats what they said in the army, when people jump, thats what they say in JC when people jump, thats what they say in the world when people jump, and people jump all the time.


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